And We Danced...

She was a real woman. But she preferred to be called a young lady. She had other funny habits, that made me feel more normal. We could laugh, and we could lay silent. We could hang out for hours, and both agree that it was never enough time. She was my best friend and I was hers.  I thought of her when the sun shined, and she thought of me at night…
 

A suit, a dress. A candle and a dance. Red wine and my valentine. A man so in love with a woman, that he can’t stop holding her hands. Tears in his eyes, just from looking into hers.  He doesn’t know how he earned this moment, this dance, or this young lady, and all he cares about is her, knowing his heart is hers.

A boy, a girl, he’s looking into my eyes.  This man loves me, but I just can’t decide.  His heart is whole, but I just don’t know, I don’t know if he’s going where I want to go. He is my best friend, a man I love, but I’m not convinced, that I’m ready for this, or really IN love.  This dance feels good, his love is so real, but when this song ends, I’ll let him know, that I’m letting him go.

I love this woman. I can’t picture my life without her, the road we’ve been down, was at times gravel and broken. But she stood by me, came home to me, I was here for her, and I’ve waited for her. Never deterred, never unsure, when this song ends, I’m going to tell her that she is my world.

This is killing me. I love this man. And I can’t even soak up this moment, because we won’t last forever, so I need to let him know, before it gets any deeper. So I’ll hold him close, dance with my head buried in his shoulder, I wish life came with more answers, and fewer unknowns.

She’s pulling me closer, I can see her tears, I’ve never been so confident, that this love will withstand the weather, through all of the coming years.  I chose her for this night, for this moment, for my life,  she must feel the exact same way, that our happiness together was meant to be. I’ve never been happier.

I’m breathing deeper, this man loves me completely.  I can’t let him love me any longer. Do I do it tonight, do I wait for a fight, something about either decision doesn’t feel right. Do I run cuz I know, or do I run cuz I don’t know, I wasn’t ready for this type of decision. This is overwhelming.

I’m going to play another song for her after this, because I never want this night to end…

I hope another song comes on after this, because I’m confused, and I’m screaming inside, and I don’t know how to accept the end.

Our hearts brought us together, it’s hard to believe our minds will let this go.

And I am the narrator. The fly on the wall. I watch these lovers, dancing in the hall.  I feel eternity in his heart, I feel pressure on her mind.  I know the outcome, that he doesn’t know at all. Unsuspected, as he loves, but if he dug down to the core of his heart, he would accept what she saw.  And he will, in time, and he will know that he cannot rewind the feelings at this time.

I am the narrator. And you ask me, how do I know so much. Because I am his heart and his mind.  I am his subconscious, that accepts the truth, when the heart is taken out of the equation.  I am his instincts. His survival. I am the one that protects him, when there is a disconnect, and an intersection, in his life. And although I saw this coming, it will break his heart tonight.  He will ask how, and why, and those are all questions that will be answered in time. In time, when I have time to talk to him, and show him their battled timeline.

This is not a mess. This is love ending, in a beautiful red dress. A flower’s life ending, to render a new seed into the ground. A red rose upon us, wilting, dried up in the night, is STILL just as beautiful, and the day it first blossomed. And he runs his hands across her shoulder blades, down her arms, and embraces her hands, his optimism lets him smile, but she knows this love is dying.

There is no better moment, even if you know it is the last moment, when you love with an open heart. No restrictions, no held back convictions, you will pull the heart from my sleeve tonight, and it will be left on the table, where we had dinner and wine.

I could stop this all from happening. I could sit down and attempt to solve this equation. But I will never wish to delay the inevitable, so I’m trying to appreciate this moment. And I will. And I do. And I will never forget. But my heart will always wonder what the rest of these moments could have been like, over a lifetime. But that’s the treasure, that keeps us hunting.  A rainstorm that renders a rainbow, a pot of gold, and a heart that keeps believing.

Am I lost. No. Am I broken. Maybe. Will I survive, and come back stronger, I will promise you yes.  And every day I keep believing, that my life fits a mold that makes me smile.  And just as the mold renders comfort, I want it to change.  And the train tracks that I follow, are simply a guide. I am not afraid to change the direction that they lead me. There is no predetermined mold. There is a life. A mind. A heart. And a million unknowns. Each decision, will put our lives in different intersections, that lead to different places, and who can call that wrong?

No one.

One life. One million decisions. One outcome. No regrets. This…..is life. 

Life IS Love. Accept NO alternative.


Cheers, Adam