Most of you here know me already... But for those of you who don't, my name is Adam Pifer and I was a Bar back and fruit cutter at china blue for 6 years. J
Please bear with me, I haven’t spoken in front of a group
of people, in over 10 years, since college. I don’t think screaming “last call”
every weekend at 1:45 really counts as public speaking… J
My decision to write this, started with a post I wrote on FB for Alyssa... And I found myself continuing that post in my journal. So I will first read the post, and then continue.
“Thinking
about Alyssa Roman... Life is NOT measured by the AMOUNT of time you are on
Earth, but rather the QUALITY of time you share, the LOVE you spread, the HANDS
you hold, the WISDOM you share, and the COMPASSION you teach. The smile on your
face could wrap the whole world with love and warmth in less than a second.
Your spot in Heaven was ready for you, because your LOVE and LEGACY is tattooed
on the hearts and minds of EVERY person you encountered.
Save
a spot for each of us in Heaven, as the good times will SURELY continue with
you as each of us finish our journey on Earth. Thank you for the smiles. The
memories. The laughs. The love. The support. The lessons. The compassion. We
are ALL better people for the influence you had upon us, and THOSE memories can
NEVER be taken from us. Losing someone can bring pain and sorrow...BUT...we
didn't lose you...Each and EVERY one of us GAINED from you...Thank you Alyssa
Roman. Thank you for being YOU. And putting up with all of US. I am smiling
today...finally. And I know you are too. God Bless. WE LOVE YOU...”
So…When I finished that post, I made myself dinner. After
dinner, I sat down on my couch. And I found myself with a pen in my hand. I
didn’t know what else to say… but I felt as if someone, somewhere was nudging
me to keep going. To say more. And to deliver a message to all of you here
today. So…here I am.
She had a zero tolerance for disrespect on shift. Alyssa
defended her girls on every shift. She defended her bouncers. And she defended
her guests. And one time, I even heard her defending Ted. :)
She was a lover and a fighter. If you complained to her about something, she would tell you to get over it. But she always said it with such a perfect smile. I called it fire and ice. :) She never let you ponder or fester on anger, and she doesn’t want you to right now either. She was supportive, understanding, and a pure joy to be around. She could ride the bull perfectly with no hands. I couldn't even ride it with two hands. And I'm from Kuna.
When I first got word of this, I was at a club in
Portland last Saturday night. Matty was the first to tell me. My reaction was
probably the same as most of you. Shock
and disbelief. I came home Sunday, and I got on my bike. I rode my bike every
day this last week. I thought…and I thought some more. And I asked myself, what would MY reaction be
to this situation. Everything came back
to one word. PERSPECTIVE. I had two
choices. As do all of you.
I was overcome with emotion. I could allow that emotion to turn to anger.
I could ask God why. And I could repeat a question I would never have an answer
to. I could harbor feelings that would
hinder my own happiness for as long as I CHOSE to fight this.
Or I could look for the opportunity Alyssa gave us. I could look at the beautiful opportunity
Alyssa gave each and every one of us.
And that opportunity is, to take this opportunity to examine our own
lives. To read between the lines of the
choices and decisions we make on a daily basis.
Alyssa gave ALL of us an opportunity to implement an intervention in our
own lives. Who will make the decision here today to do that, I know I will.
And so I asked myself, what is my purpose on this earth?
Am I giving enough? Am I listening enough?
Am I loving enough? Where and how can I grow and give more? And why
haven’t I done it yet? This opportunity
Alyssa gave me, to recognize this, will ABSOLUTELY change my life. And I ask
that each and every one of you see the opportunity in this moment, to change
your life.
In hard times, we all need a vice. Cycling is my vice.
Each of you have your own vice. Some of
you lift. Some run. Some shop. Some write.
But I have learned this week, the greatest vice we will ever have, is
each other. The greatest resource on
this earth, is not money, oil, or diamonds. It’s us. It’s the chain link we
create, when we join hands and hearts.
So I ask all of you, what would Alyssa want? A glass half
empty? Or a glass half full? A group of friends hurting? Or a group of friends
holding hands? Frowns, and questions? Or smiles and loving memories. We all know
that answers to these questions. And in a time when some questions can’t be
answered, maybe we can all leave this building with some of our own questions
answered on where OUR life goes from here.
And THAT is perspective my friends. That is how we handle adversity and
painful moments together. We do NOT hold on to pain. We CHOOSE to replace that
with happiness. Just as Alyssa would
WANT us to do.
Death on earth is not an ending. It's a beginning. A
birth. To something bigger. Something better. An infinity of bliss and
happiness, where the ONLY pain, is patiently waiting for the people you love,
to join you.
Life is all perspective. We didn't lose her. God found her. And God needed her.
We use gatherings and events as a platform to spread propaganda. So I will do the same. My propaganda is love. Peace. And the pursuit of happiness. We spend every day looking at the first layer, of the people around us. The first layer may look good, but it will never give you satisfaction that lasts. When you leave this building, look deeper. BEFORE you leave this building, look deeper. The greatest gift anyone can give you comes from the core being of who they are. Give from the inside, and let it shine on the outside. Alyssa was the epitome of this.
As you each climb your own ladders of life...don't be
afraid to hang by one hand, to grab someone else, and help them catch up. We
are in this together. We are a team. We are friends. We are a family. And we
are strongest, in numbers. They say always look forward in life. Don't
look behind you. But the greatest surprises in life happen on your left and
right, never in front of your face.
We are gathered here today for the same cause. To
celebrate the life of Alyssa, and to continue a strong foundation and love for
Jaxyn. But not all of us know each other. Before you leave here today... Make a
new friend. Introduce yourself. But not because I asked you to. Do it because
you want to, and as a gift to Alyssa, because even though all of you don’t know
each other, you are ALL family to Alyssa.
And THAT is the common denominator that placed us here together today,
side by side.
Strive every day, to make you heart, the biggest muscle in your body. It will always be the strongest muscle you have, when you let your mind guide the workouts of life. Tell the people you love, that you love them. We shouldn’t fear…saying what we feel. Even if it’s not reciprocated. Silence, will never hurt as bad as regret.
It's not our job to make the people around us, love us.
But it is out job, to love the people around us. Alyssa, IS a perfect example
of exactly that. And that is a lesson that can LIVE ON. There is a lesson, and
a liberty to every action around us. Let the lesson here today be to love
fully. Let the liberty be to make peace within yourself for the things you
cannot control. I envy the day, where the size of someone’s heart, outweighs
his or her social status within their community. The crazy thing is... We
decide, as individuals, friends, families, and communities... When that day
comes.
A true heart can reach far more people, than an ignorant mind.
We all fight wars. Whether it’s with a mirror, or our own mind. Let today be a
reminder, to love one another, and never to abandon one another. It's not the
words you choose, that make something sound good, or the face that says them.
It's the passion you put behind them. It's the integrity you put within them.
And the journey you take, to stand by them.
We all love Alyssa. And the greatest tribute we can give
to her, is to examine our own lives, and make the proper adjustments, that make
US better people. I am confident, that would make her the happiest. Love yourself. Love the people around you.
Ask for help when you need it, offer a listening ear instead of talking. Ask
people how they are, never assume, and most importantly… SLOW DOWN. Enjoy the
little things. Because life will show you…the little things, ARE the big
things.
I believe it takes half warrior, and half angel to find a
happy medium on this earth. Alyssa was
the best example of both. She could spit
fire when necessary, but she preferred to spread her wings.
In this world, there are leaders, and there are
followers. Today, I will ask all of you to be both. Lead with your heart, and then follow it.
God Bless Alyssa. Let’s finish our work here on this
earth in good fashion. And let’s do it with an open heart, and an open mind. A
special thank you to each and every one of you that took the time to come out
here today and show your love and support.
Let’s raise our
drinks for the celebration of our dear friend, and sister, Alyssa.
