Bucket List Video

I made this video yesterday. I love it. Wanna know what I love even more? The possibilities in 2014. I'm amped, excited, and ready to dive in to a new year! Cheers my friends, I love you all! I hope you enjoy this video. :)

Bucket List

So... I'm kinda addicted to this site. Started this up yesterday, and I've come to terms, that this should be MANDATORY for EVERYONE to start. I'm already begging my friends to start one, and follow me, so I can follow them, and we can hold each other accountable, but most importantly, make memories doing some of them with the most important people in our lives!! xoxo everyone!

Click this link and redirect.

http://bucketlist.org/list/pifer.adam/

Haha!! I just noticed #1 on my friend Suzy's list. Cute. we'll have to make that happen!! :)

A Table Rock Christmas

Great way to start my day. 7am hike up to Table Rock, to watch the sunrise with my buddy Mike. The greatest things in life, are not things at all. The greatest things in life, are our feelings towards ourselves, and our friendships with others. I'm spoiled with some of the most amazing people in my life that anyone could ever ask for. On this day, I am thankful for this opportunity on Earth. I am thankful for the people in my life, and the lessons I've learned, from the people out of my life. There are no accidents, on our path. There are intentional interactions. From these moments, we ask ourselves who we really are, and these moments shape who we become throughout our life. I am thankful for a Merciful God, that forgives, and understands. I am not perfect, nor do I ever wish to be, however each day I strive to be better than I was the day before. I'm a work in progress, which, is a lifetime learning process. Merry Christmas to all. Spread love, whether its well received or not...

Moustache Power...

 

Shameless GoPro Selfie...while on private retreat in Tamarack, Idaho.

 

Life is beautiful, and good, and amazing. I've learned to harness the power of my moustache to do incredible things. My favorite thing about my moustache is watching cashiers in checkout lines avoid eye contact with me when talking to me, because they find my moustache to be unbearable awkward. Come to think of it, all strangers avoid eye contact with me when talking, because of the moustache. This just inspires me to keep the conversation alive for as long as possible. Awkward moments are something I live for. I woke up today, thinking maybe I should shave my moustache... but then I remembered, nobody wants normal. The weirdo in me wins. The weirdo in me also keeps me happy. :)

 

Cheers, to getting out of the city... living your life forward, and ridiculous moustaches. I cant wait for summer time. I'm gonna wear short shorts, and rock my moustache. 

 

 

There are a few things in life... That make me very happy. Riding ATV's is definitely one of them towards the very top.

Here are 240 other things I like:

Snickers candy bar, holding hands, two light beers, bonfires, red wine, bananas, affection, fresh mountain air, cuddling when it rains, certain memories, my cat, graham crackers, spiral notebooks, wood decks, surprise photos, NOT making the bed, print magazines not digital, math, the stock market, puppies.

Bicycles, mustache's, emotion jerking love songs, real life endings, yoga pants, yoga pants, yoga pants, (emphasized 3 times, but only counted once), simplicity, the engineering behind a toilet flush, air planes, pilots, lovers, parks, elderly people, kind people, awkward people, quiet people, challenged people, broken people, all people, reading glasses.

Childhood memories, hero's, emotion, risk takers, nerds, Nike shoes, random GoPro videos, shoe boxes, collecting junk, keeping junk, communication, almonds, being alone, large crowds, dive bars, intriguing people, random conversation, waving at red lights, going 5 over the speed limit, declining a call and texting back.

Trucker hats, love, Seattle, dreaming at night, laundry, chasing my cat, flip flops, bacon, original Nintendo, throwing a football, shooting hoops, encouraging others, traveling alone sometimes, flight take off, people watching, chocolate milk shakes, mechanical pencils, journals, printers, text messaging.

Light switches, equal rights, random cards, post cards, licking stamps, books, stock charts, picture frames, painting, spare change, receipts, file cabinets, fireworks, gravel roads, road trips, snow, snow balls, gloves, fortune cookies, fly fishing.

Margaritas, hand written letters and notes, hot sauce, finance books, bar tending, Christmas lights, good company, Starbucks coffee, nature, cabins, McCall Idaho, dry erase boards, backpacks, jeep wranglers, finding a reason to make a chart, calculators, springy door stops, silver rings, laughter, hunters orange.

eBay, blue skies, staring to get caught, introductions with fake names, small containers, driving, the sound of a beer or pop can opening, clarity, confusion, staplers, insulated flannel, conformity, regulated chaos, HD sports, passwords, memorization, good service, cold nights, warm days, the garbage disposal.

Trading stock, goofing off, kick ball, competition, winning, board games, the smell of a woman's hair, problem solving, flash cards, stickers, credit card reward points, Italy, strangers, turkey burgers, baby carrots, rubber bands, mental strength, custom wood projects, winning people over, challenges.

Adversity, aqua net hair spray, dollar stores, mom and pop shops, history, airports, deadlines, lock and keys, lizards, jeep wagoneers, light bulbs, clip boards, whistles, mountains, oscillating fans, soft kisses, water, working zippers, Velcro, play lists.

Fall leaves, stemless wine glasses, writing, uniqueness in everything, deer and elk, grass, movie nights with company, cooking together, spring time, beaches, tourism, camping, resolution, blue skies, cycling, influence, table rock, Boise greenbelt, honest politics, craft stores.

White water rafting, novelty eye glasses, strike anywhere matches, Scentsy candles, tough guys in minivans, prediction, statistics, cruise control, chips n salsa, Microsoft Office, certificates, RV's, pepperoni and mushroom pizza, jeans with holes, lamps, camping equipment, tall buildings, Manhattan, hot showers, and blankets.

Bungee cords, aspen trees, BBQ's, defrost, remote start, under dogs, the Las Vegas strip, Central Park, KTVB Channel 7 News, farmers, tractors, produce markets, determination, chopping wood, Christmas trees, online banking, Boise foothills, packing at the last minute, wireless mouse, and going to bed early.

Imagine Dragons - Demons

Partial Lyrics to the song. Not my words.

Don't want to let you down, But I am hell bound,  Though this is all for you,  Don't want to hide the truth,  No matter what we breed,  We still are made of greed,  This is my kingdom come,  This is my kingdom come.

When you feel my heat,  Look into my eyes,  It's where my demons hide,  It's where my demons hide, Don't get too close, It's dark inside, It's where my demons hide, It's where my demons hide.

They say it's what you make, I say it's up to fate, It's woven in my soul, I need to let you go, Your eyes, they shine so bright, I want to save their light, I can't escape this now, Unless you show me how.

When you feel my heat, Look into my eyes, It's where my demons hide, It's where my demons hide.

Don't get too close, It's dark inside, It's where my demons hide, It's where my demons hide. 

**ENLARGE THIS VIDEO IN THE LOWER RIGHT CORNER AFTER YOU HIT PLAY.

 

Simply....Seattle.

Its just a title..... NOTHING is.......simple, but that's not a right of way, to make EVERYTHING complex...

 

There’s a sliver of irony, in every memory. For as little time as I’ve spent in Seattle, It will ALWAYS hold a heavy spot on my heart. My Hearts spent a LOT more time there, than I ever did. Sunshine to rain, you take the good with that bad. Cheers, Seattle…I Miss You...

 

 

Ben and Elise....Engaged!!!

Couldn't be happier for two of my best friends.  Over the weekend, Ben proposed to his girlfriend Elise on Lovers Bridge, in Paris, France.  This is a special story in my life, because I've been a part of their timeline from their very FIRST date.

2 years ago, almost to this day, I had plans to hang out with Ben. He called to tell me he'd be a little late, because be was going to sneak a quick coffee date in with someone he had met. He insisted it would be quick. 4 hour later, Ben called to tell me he was finishing up with her. haha. It was their FIRST meeting, and it went better than he had planned it would! About 4 weeks after that, Ben and I left Boise, to travel to Europe.  It was a special time for him and I in Paris, because Elise had studied abroad for a semester in Paris.  Ben and I talked about her the whole trip. I had never seen Ben so excited. They had only known each other for a very short time.

On that trip, Ben and I visited a very famous bridge in Paris, called Lovers Bridge.  It was said that lovers traveled from ALL over the world to visit the bridge.  Lovers brought, or bought a lock, and locked it on the chain link railing of the bridge. They then threw the key over the bridge into the river. It is said, that lovers that do this, will love forever, with a love so strong, nothing can break it.

Here is a very neat link that shows the bridge and the locks, please look at it. Just click the link below to see the bridge where Ben proposed.
http://www.parischerie.com/4384/lovers-bridge-over-the-seine-river/

While Ben and I stood on that bridge, we leaned over the railing, and rested our arms, and began to talk. Ben looked at me and said, "Adam, I know Elise and I just met, and its only been a month, but I am going to bring her back to this bridge someday, and I am going to ask her to marry me."  This conversation was in November of 2011. I looked at Ben, and I told him 3 very important things have to happen, for THAT to happen. 

     1)  Elise has to fall in love with you.   (She Did)
     2) You actually have to bring her to Paris.     (He Did)
     3) She has to agree to marry you. hahaha.     (SHE DID!!!)

Over the last two years, I have had a front row seat, to the relationship of Ben and Elise. And over and over, I have thought about what Ben said, 2 years ago, about taking her to Paris to propose. In one of the greatest love stories, I have ever got to witness, Ben and Elise just returned from Paris, where he DID propose to her, and she DID accept! I couldn't be happier, to be a part of this love story, and a part of the wedding next year.  These are two of the most incredible people I have ever been around, and spending time with them, is something that has been, and will continue to be so special and dear to me. Congrats Ben and Elise, I love you Both very much!

When one goof ball, finds another goof ball, they say you should stick together and JOIN FORCES! :)

I look forward to watching these two, continue to grow and learn together while they love each other, and share their love with all those around them.

Love stories are real. They're not just a fairytale that you read about, or dream about. We ALL have a past. We ALL dream of a "certain" kind of future. I think when you stop chasing love, stop living with expectations of perfection, well....it's then, that you find yourself in the "PERFECT" situation.  There is no greater teacher, than two happy people in love.

Its been an incredible ride so far Ben and Elise, and I look forward to many many more years!


In the beginning, after ALL of their dates, Ben would call me on his way home, after he dropped her off. He would recap his night with her, and tell me what an amazing time he had. I loved those calls... It was not only exciting for him, it was also exciting for me. Witnessing true love and happiness is one of the most honest and humbling encounters we can have here on earth. I felt privileged to be a part of those calls... I felt proud to know a man that was doing it the right way.  Ben and I met up, briefly, the day before he left for Paris with Elise. I remember hugging him, looking him in the eyes, and telling him "You did it. You're doing exactly what you said you were going to do." I told him how proud of him I was. I admire Elise for the love and support she gives Ben.  I admire her for her passion, her compassion, and her affection to Ben, and only Ben. But most of all, I will always admire her patience, to be able to put up with Ben.... hahaha :)

From almost the VERY VERY beginning, Ben knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that he wanted to marry Elise, and spend his life with her. He not only stated it, very early on, but told me EXACTLY how he would do it, while him and I were in Paris. He did it...

THIS is exciting.     LOVE is exciting.     I cannot wait for the next chapter.... :)

Really Loving This Song Right Now...

Beautiful Lyrics.

Love Stories ARE Real...

 

 

And We Danced...

She was a real woman. But she preferred to be called a young lady. She had other funny habits, that made me feel more normal. We could laugh, and we could lay silent. We could hang out for hours, and both agree that it was never enough time. She was my best friend and I was hers.  I thought of her when the sun shined, and she thought of me at night…
 

A suit, a dress. A candle and a dance. Red wine and my valentine. A man so in love with a woman, that he can’t stop holding her hands. Tears in his eyes, just from looking into hers.  He doesn’t know how he earned this moment, this dance, or this young lady, and all he cares about is her, knowing his heart is hers.

A boy, a girl, he’s looking into my eyes.  This man loves me, but I just can’t decide.  His heart is whole, but I just don’t know, I don’t know if he’s going where I want to go. He is my best friend, a man I love, but I’m not convinced, that I’m ready for this, or really IN love.  This dance feels good, his love is so real, but when this song ends, I’ll let him know, that I’m letting him go.

I love this woman. I can’t picture my life without her, the road we’ve been down, was at times gravel and broken. But she stood by me, came home to me, I was here for her, and I’ve waited for her. Never deterred, never unsure, when this song ends, I’m going to tell her that she is my world.

This is killing me. I love this man. And I can’t even soak up this moment, because we won’t last forever, so I need to let him know, before it gets any deeper. So I’ll hold him close, dance with my head buried in his shoulder, I wish life came with more answers, and fewer unknowns.

She’s pulling me closer, I can see her tears, I’ve never been so confident, that this love will withstand the weather, through all of the coming years.  I chose her for this night, for this moment, for my life,  she must feel the exact same way, that our happiness together was meant to be. I’ve never been happier.

I’m breathing deeper, this man loves me completely.  I can’t let him love me any longer. Do I do it tonight, do I wait for a fight, something about either decision doesn’t feel right. Do I run cuz I know, or do I run cuz I don’t know, I wasn’t ready for this type of decision. This is overwhelming.

I’m going to play another song for her after this, because I never want this night to end…

I hope another song comes on after this, because I’m confused, and I’m screaming inside, and I don’t know how to accept the end.

Our hearts brought us together, it’s hard to believe our minds will let this go.

And I am the narrator. The fly on the wall. I watch these lovers, dancing in the hall.  I feel eternity in his heart, I feel pressure on her mind.  I know the outcome, that he doesn’t know at all. Unsuspected, as he loves, but if he dug down to the core of his heart, he would accept what she saw.  And he will, in time, and he will know that he cannot rewind the feelings at this time.

I am the narrator. And you ask me, how do I know so much. Because I am his heart and his mind.  I am his subconscious, that accepts the truth, when the heart is taken out of the equation.  I am his instincts. His survival. I am the one that protects him, when there is a disconnect, and an intersection, in his life. And although I saw this coming, it will break his heart tonight.  He will ask how, and why, and those are all questions that will be answered in time. In time, when I have time to talk to him, and show him their battled timeline.

This is not a mess. This is love ending, in a beautiful red dress. A flower’s life ending, to render a new seed into the ground. A red rose upon us, wilting, dried up in the night, is STILL just as beautiful, and the day it first blossomed. And he runs his hands across her shoulder blades, down her arms, and embraces her hands, his optimism lets him smile, but she knows this love is dying.

There is no better moment, even if you know it is the last moment, when you love with an open heart. No restrictions, no held back convictions, you will pull the heart from my sleeve tonight, and it will be left on the table, where we had dinner and wine.

I could stop this all from happening. I could sit down and attempt to solve this equation. But I will never wish to delay the inevitable, so I’m trying to appreciate this moment. And I will. And I do. And I will never forget. But my heart will always wonder what the rest of these moments could have been like, over a lifetime. But that’s the treasure, that keeps us hunting.  A rainstorm that renders a rainbow, a pot of gold, and a heart that keeps believing.

Am I lost. No. Am I broken. Maybe. Will I survive, and come back stronger, I will promise you yes.  And every day I keep believing, that my life fits a mold that makes me smile.  And just as the mold renders comfort, I want it to change.  And the train tracks that I follow, are simply a guide. I am not afraid to change the direction that they lead me. There is no predetermined mold. There is a life. A mind. A heart. And a million unknowns. Each decision, will put our lives in different intersections, that lead to different places, and who can call that wrong?

No one.

One life. One million decisions. One outcome. No regrets. This…..is life. 

Life IS Love. Accept NO alternative.


Cheers, Adam

Talk about an eye opener! Cheers to people that love one at a time! If you're truly in love, you CAN'T fall in love with someone else.

Choose the SECOND PERSON, thanks.

I like this pic. EXCEPT...I would change the first word from YOU, to I, and the last word from YOU to ME. That's It.

Oh, and the YOU in the middle, well ya, I'd change that to ME. :)

 



Alyssa Roman...Life Celebration

**For those of you that were asking me, and messaging me for a copy of my speech at Alyssa's Life Celebration, here it is.  You can copy and paste it into Microsoft Word, and print it from there or just save the file. :)



Most of you here know me already... But for those of you who don't, my name is Adam Pifer and I was a Bar back and fruit cutter at china blue for 6 years. J

 

Please bear with me, I haven’t spoken in front of a group of people, in over 10 years, since college. I don’t think screaming “last call” every weekend at 1:45 really counts as public speaking… J

My decision to write this, started with a post I wrote on FB for Alyssa... And I found myself continuing that post in my journal. So I will first read the post, and then continue.

 

“Thinking about Alyssa Roman... Life is NOT measured by the AMOUNT of time you are on Earth, but rather the QUALITY of time you share, the LOVE you spread, the HANDS you hold, the WISDOM you share, and the COMPASSION you teach. The smile on your face could wrap the whole world with love and warmth in less than a second. Your spot in Heaven was ready for you, because your LOVE and LEGACY is tattooed on the hearts and minds of EVERY person you encountered.

 

Save a spot for each of us in Heaven, as the good times will SURELY continue with you as each of us finish our journey on Earth. Thank you for the smiles. The memories. The laughs. The love. The support. The lessons. The compassion. We are ALL better people for the influence you had upon us, and THOSE memories can NEVER be taken from us. Losing someone can bring pain and sorrow...BUT...we didn't lose you...Each and EVERY one of us GAINED from you...Thank you Alyssa Roman. Thank you for being YOU. And putting up with all of US. I am smiling today...finally. And I know you are too. God Bless. WE LOVE YOU...”

 

So…When I finished that post, I made myself dinner. After dinner, I sat down on my couch. And I found myself with a pen in my hand. I didn’t know what else to say… but I felt as if someone, somewhere was nudging me to keep going. To say more. And to deliver a message to all of you here today. So…here I am.

 

She had a zero tolerance for disrespect on shift. Alyssa defended her girls on every shift. She defended her bouncers. And she defended her guests. And one time, I even heard her defending Ted. :)

She was a lover and a fighter. If you complained to her about something, she would tell you to get over it. But she always said it with such a perfect smile. I called it fire and ice. :) She never let you ponder or fester on anger, and she doesn’t want you to right now either. She was supportive, understanding, and a pure joy to be around. She could ride the bull perfectly with no hands. I couldn't even ride it with two hands. And I'm from Kuna.

 

When I first got word of this, I was at a club in Portland last Saturday night. Matty was the first to tell me. My reaction was probably the same as most of you.  Shock and disbelief. I came home Sunday, and I got on my bike. I rode my bike every day this last week. I thought…and I thought some more.  And I asked myself, what would MY reaction be to this situation.  Everything came back to one word. PERSPECTIVE.  I had two choices.  As do all of you.

 

I was overcome with emotion.  I could allow that emotion to turn to anger. I could ask God why. And I could repeat a question I would never have an answer to.  I could harbor feelings that would hinder my own happiness for as long as I CHOSE to fight this.

 

Or I could look for the opportunity Alyssa gave us.  I could look at the beautiful opportunity Alyssa gave each and every one of us.  And that opportunity is, to take this opportunity to examine our own lives.  To read between the lines of the choices and decisions we make on a daily basis.  Alyssa gave ALL of us an opportunity to implement an intervention in our own lives. Who will make the decision here today to do that, I know I will.

 

And so I asked myself, what is my purpose on this earth? Am I giving enough? Am I listening enough?  Am I loving enough? Where and how can I grow and give more? And why haven’t I done it yet?  This opportunity Alyssa gave me, to recognize this, will ABSOLUTELY change my life. And I ask that each and every one of you see the opportunity in this moment, to change your life.

 

In hard times, we all need a vice. Cycling is my vice. Each of you have your own vice.  Some of you lift. Some run. Some shop. Some write.  But I have learned this week, the greatest vice we will ever have, is each other.  The greatest resource on this earth, is not money, oil, or diamonds. It’s us. It’s the chain link we create, when we join hands and hearts. 

 

So I ask all of you, what would Alyssa want? A glass half empty? Or a glass half full? A group of friends hurting? Or a group of friends holding hands? Frowns, and questions? Or smiles and loving memories. We all know that answers to these questions. And in a time when some questions can’t be answered, maybe we can all leave this building with some of our own questions answered on where OUR life goes from here.  And THAT is perspective my friends. That is how we handle adversity and painful moments together. We do NOT hold on to pain. We CHOOSE to replace that with happiness.  Just as Alyssa would WANT us to do.

 

Death on earth is not an ending. It's a beginning. A birth. To something bigger. Something better. An infinity of bliss and happiness, where the ONLY pain, is patiently waiting for the people you love, to join you.

Life is all perspective. We didn't lose her. God found her. And God needed her.

We use gatherings and events as a platform to spread propaganda. So I will do the same. My propaganda is love. Peace. And the pursuit of happiness. We spend every day looking at the first layer, of the people around us. The first layer may look good, but it will never give you satisfaction that lasts. When you leave this building, look deeper. BEFORE you leave this building, look deeper. The greatest gift anyone can give you comes from the core being of who they are. Give from the inside, and let it shine on the outside. Alyssa was the epitome of this.   

 

As you each climb your own ladders of life...don't be afraid to hang by one hand, to grab someone else, and help them catch up. We are in this together. We are a team. We are friends. We are a family. And we are strongest, in numbers. They say always look forward in life.  Don't look behind you. But the greatest surprises in life happen on your left and right, never in front of your face.

 

We are gathered here today for the same cause. To celebrate the life of Alyssa, and to continue a strong foundation and love for Jaxyn. But not all of us know each other. Before you leave here today... Make a new friend. Introduce yourself. But not because I asked you to. Do it because you want to, and as a gift to Alyssa, because even though all of you don’t know each other, you are ALL family to Alyssa.  And THAT is the common denominator that placed us here together today, side by side.

Strive every day, to make you heart, the biggest muscle in your body. It will always be the strongest muscle you have, when you let your mind guide the workouts of life. Tell the people you love, that you love them. We shouldn’t fear…saying what we feel. Even if it’s not reciprocated. Silence, will never hurt as bad as regret.

 

It's not our job to make the people around us, love us. But it is out job, to love the people around us. Alyssa, IS a perfect example of exactly that. And that is a lesson that can LIVE ON. There is a lesson, and a liberty to every action around us. Let the lesson here today be to love fully. Let the liberty be to make peace within yourself for the things you cannot control. I envy the day, where the size of someone’s heart, outweighs his or her social status within their community. The crazy thing is... We decide, as individuals, friends, families, and communities... When that day comes.

 

A true heart can reach far more people, than an ignorant mind. We all fight wars. Whether it’s with a mirror, or our own mind. Let today be a reminder, to love one another, and never to abandon one another. It's not the words you choose, that make something sound good, or the face that says them. It's the passion you put behind them. It's the integrity you put within them. And the journey you take, to stand by them.

 

We all love Alyssa. And the greatest tribute we can give to her, is to examine our own lives, and make the proper adjustments, that make US better people. I am confident, that would make her the happiest.  Love yourself. Love the people around you. Ask for help when you need it, offer a listening ear instead of talking. Ask people how they are, never assume, and most importantly… SLOW DOWN. Enjoy the little things. Because life will show you…the little things, ARE the big things.

 

I believe it takes half warrior, and half angel to find a happy medium on this earth.  Alyssa was the best example of both.  She could spit fire when necessary, but she preferred to spread her wings.

 

In this world, there are leaders, and there are followers. Today, I will ask all of you to be both.  Lead with your heart, and then follow it.

 

God Bless Alyssa. Let’s finish our work here on this earth in good fashion. And let’s do it with an open heart, and an open mind. A special thank you to each and every one of you that took the time to come out here today and show your love and support.

 

Let’s raise our drinks for the celebration of our dear friend, and sister, Alyssa.

 

 

We're Not Broken, Just Bent...



This Song Is: Powerful. Amazing. Emotional. Close to me. Chilling. Accurate. A familiar feeling. Eerie. Awesome. Lonely. Loving. Memorable. Beautiful. Powerful. True. My Life. Yesterday. Hopefully not tomorrow.

 

What if Money Was No Object - Alan Watts

Corporate America...is the BIGGEST thief, of true happiness.  But I do not blame corporate America.  I blame the mind, that does not recognize this...This video is amazing. And true. And amazing.

Feb. 15th

I think this video speaks for itself. haha. It is a special day, I had to make a special video. :)
This video takes a minute to load for some reason. but the black screen goes away and you're able to hit play soon. give it a min. :)

My Valentine: Part II

**This is Part II, to the first one written below this one. For those of you that didn't read the first one, these were written over 10 years ago in college. And although I'm single, I'm proud to say, I am STILL just as passionate about love, and continue to believe in "THE ONE" :)

My hands are the outlet to my heart. And if you touch them right, they’ll hold you forever. Through the nights of question, And the days of sun rays. If you touch my hands with care, with integrity, and sincerity, My heart will forever care for you.

And if you look at my eyes, with every portion of your heart shining through, love will guide us through any street or avenue. And our bodies will intertwine, our hands holding our future, on the nights we cheers red wine.

And if you trust my heart, with every breath you take, I’ll never hurt you, or give you reason to question my devotion to one heart, one lady, two hands, one smile, one mind, your love, in my life.

But right now the idea of us, is but a mere thought we play with. Floating in and out of our minds, or maybe just mine, through thoughts and text messages. And I smile, and I wonder, If we’ll chase this chance, take a passive, or an aggressive stance, and hand each other tickets to the main event.

I can’t shake the thoughts of you on my mind, consuming me constantly, like hands on skin, goose bumps that wake me when I’m weary, and your smile, that lights my day, when the sun hides behind the inversion of clouds. And I can’t really take your hands and tell you this, but I can write my mind, till I have it or lose it.

And I’m mesmerized by my options of strategies, I could drive there, pull over a mile away, get out of my car, and walk the rest of the way, just to relax my nerves before I knocked on your door. I could take your hands, and make you sit in the yard, and tell you that somewhere over the rainbow, lies both our dreams, wanna chase them with me?

I could tell you what your smile does to me, how it changes my day, my ideas, my ways, How it gives me happiness and hope. I could write out a compatibility survey, and ask you to check mark everything that’s similar to me. I could take you to the park, hold your hand, And tell you what I’m looking for in life, and how I feel like I’m holding on to it right now, each and every time that I hug you goodbye.

I could write you a letter and drop it in the mail. I could perch beneath your window and hold up signs, signs that say I’m falling in love with you. I could have a plane fly overhead, with a banner that screams I love you.

Or…..I could just do it my way.

I could wait for rain, and on that evening, I could take you with me, to a building. A balcony, where we’d be on top of the world, and we’d kiss in the rain, cleansed of our past, and ready for our future.


A spectacle, on a building, during rush hour traffic, but slightly before dusk. And as the rain passes, I’d point to the horizon, where a rainbow lights up the misty sky, and I could ask you if you believe in treasure, the type that lasts a lifetime, and lives in your heart.

I could ask you to embark on a journey. An adventure, where we’d hold hands, and neither of us would ever let go. I could tell you of my love for you, not just for your beauty, but for the very foundations, that even allow love to exist. Your voice, your touch, your kiss, your character, and your skillful ability, to push me to be a better person, every minute, of every hour.

And as the last of the evenings light faded, it would bring night, to our first moments as lovers. And I’d stand behind you, with my arms wrapped around you, our eyes both focused on the same horizon, that lay millions of miles in front of us. And before that night ended, I’d engrave your place on my heart, that would last forever.

And when we lay down in bed, I’d kiss your lips, and thank God for the miracle he gave me, And you’d fall asleep before me, and I’d kiss your forehead before I fell asleep. Morning would bring light, to the first day of our new life, and my happiness would hope you became my wife.

And although our love was our first gift, we’d join hands in marriage, in front of all those that believed in us, and as our love and careers progressed, we’d settle into a house that we’d make a home, and no matter the route life took us, we’d never be alone.

And as the very miracle that brought us together, God’s miracles would give our life another, in the form of a daughter, that started our family, and the mere birth of this baby girl, brought our hands even closer to heaven, as they wrapped around her.

And contrary to the rising statistics of divorce, our love would grow stronger with each passing year, because we believe in love, and we cherish it, protect it, hold onto it, and value it.

But this is all just a dream. It isn’t reality. We haven’t stood on that balcony. We haven’t kissed in the rain. We haven’t joined hands or hearts. We haven’t spoke words of love.

But that doesn’t mean it couldn’t happen. And it’s that very dream that I’ll chase. Until the day it happens.

And we stand on that balcony. And we kiss in the rain. And we join hands and hearts. And we speak words of love. And my Valentine, becomes mine.
Cheers, Adam

My Valentine: Part I

** I wrote this back in college, years ago. I came across it this week while going through old notebooks. It seemed fitting for my blog this week, since its Called My Valentine: Part I. I wrote 2 of them on back to back days 10 years ago. I will post Part II tomorrow night.  They are both COMPLETELY fiction. I was single when I wrote them, it was a creative writing class. so they're written about an "idea" not a real person or situation.

Anticipation. Plagued on my mind. My world. Revolving around that look, in your eyes.

Can I see you?
I want to see you.
I need to see you.
I have to see you.

I won’t ask you anything. You don’t have to say a word. Just look in my eye. Hold on to my hand. And I’ll know, if this is the only place you want to be. I won’t ask for anything. Just sit with me. Lay with me. Watch the stars with me. Now take a deep breath. Close your eyes. And kiss me.

Kiss me smooth.
Kiss me true.
Kiss me with all of you.

Rest your head on my chest. Rest your hands in my hands. Forget about the stress of today. Just lay here with me.

Beneath the stars. On this grass. On this clear night. Before I ask you to be mine.

And I tremble before I talk. I told you I wouldn’t ask for anything. And I can’t do it.
I won’t do it. But I want you. To be with you. To hold you. To kiss you. And to keep you.

Will you be mine? I can’t ask you. I won’t ask you. Is this something you might want? You may change your mind later. But tonight, let me know you want me. As badly as I want to be with you. Let us connect hands and hearts. And let us chase this life together.

Tell you what…
Let me tell you about my week….
How my heart is consumed by you…
And how it all connects back to you….

On Monday, I sit in class. I focus on my professor. But my heart thinks of you. My heart beats for you. My heart wants so badly. To be next to you.

On Tuesday, I study in the library. Alone. On the 4^th floor. So I can focus on my studies.
My mind shifts from finance. And is eventually consumed by you.

On Wednesday, we free write poetry. In my literature class for an hour. It’s the most amazing hour of my week. My notebook is surrounded. By words that describe my feelings for you. This notebook becomes more to me. For it holds feelings I long to show you.

On Thursdays, I walk in the park after class. I pass couples holding hands. And my heart races to be with you. I walk peacefully alone. And wonder how to tell you. My feelings are growing for you.

On Fridays I work late at the bar. I look at happy faces and sad faces. I see people kissing and flirting. And hoping to find someone. With the same amazing qualities. That I’ve found in you.

On Saturday, I see you out with your girls. My heart pounds, and my knees feel weak.
I feel sweat and heat come over me. I try to play it cool, but I’m in love with you. I smile.  I embrace your hug. And I watch you walk out that door.

On Sundays, my day is pretty slow. I stay home and relax and work on math. Every time my phone rings. My heart skips a beat, wondering if it’s you. And before my week is over. And the new one will soon begin. I turn out the lights to crawl into bed. And as I lay my head to my pillow. My phone sounds off with a text message. And I read it. Out loud. Over and over.

Adam, I miss you. I was just thinking about you. Well, I’m always thinking about you.
Look, I can’t hold this back any longer. I can’t stop thinking about you. The way you look at me. The way you treat me. The way you touch my hands.
The way you kiss me. I’m falling in love with you.

A tear forms in my eyes. I’ve lived everyday with integrity. So one day I could embrace.
A moment just like this.

I reply to her message:
I feel this too. I can’t stop thinking about you. I want to be with you.

And she replies to me:
Adam, I’m going to fall asleep with a smile. Can I call you in the morning? Never mind, can I come over right now? Can I see you? I want to see you. I need to see you. I have to see you.

And I reply to her:
I’ll be up when you get here. Standing beneath the streetlight. Waiting to hold your hand.
And when you get here. Don’t speak a word. Just kiss me. And hand me forever.

And so on that night began their story. Two hearts once beaten on different paths.
Collecting as one beneath the moonlight. True hearts connecting their treasure, In each other’s arms tonight and forever.

Cheers, Adam

#Truth

 

Cost vs. Reward

I watched an interview this evening on facing adversity, cutting losses, and remembering what is left in FRONT of you, undiscovered yet.

This was by far the most moving quote from one of the participants.

"You put a price... On every decision you make.  And when the situation gets more expensive than the price you gave it, you get out.... "  -Dave Chappelle

I cant even explain why, I love this so much. I just...do.

Hadley Win's

Little Hadley thought it would be funny to lock me outside during Ben and Elise's Super Bowl Party. I was trying to be civil with her through the window...but she wouldnt give in.

 

Anonymous

Sigh...
 
I think...
and I think...

And I write, with intimate words that let your mind infiltrate mine.

Guard dogs that stand down when I write, it's your eyes examining my heart. My life, my mind, served to you on a platter to soak up, or spit out. And I fear ridicule, but not as much as I fear a life of keeping my mouth shut. So words spill, emotions come out, the dam gets breached by built up feelings pushing their way out. And you think it’s okay to tell me what I NEED to write about???

Blasted for what I say...

Blasted for who I'm not, if I'm going under the microscope I'm going to at least do what I want. I don't ask you to read my words, it's YOUR curiosity that brings you to my yard. If this stuff is tough to swallow, then puke it up and don't come back. This is my blog. And the only part of you allowed here is your mind while you read MY words. If this is too much for you then just stay away.

I don't seek pity, because I'm NOT UNHAPPY...

I don't seek hope, because I live with faith. I sound off when you sound off about my intentions, until you learn to shut up or just go away. While you spend minutes telling me how I should manage my page, precious moments are lost that you could be fixing YOUR own brain. I'm healthy, happy, smart, and honest, and if I thought I was living in the past I wouldn't have people viewing, reading, and COMING BACK to a page with little or no value.

So the next time...

You want to ridicule me, on MY turf, maybe be a little more generic so you don't look so jealous. You spoke softly, with ignorant undertones, envy spilling out the sides of your condescending mouth as you tried to disguise the angel you aren't. My blog wasn't written to appease anyone's mind but mine, I feel bad that you get hung up on someone that wanted nothing to do with you.

At least when I talk about my past...

It's with people I actually shared my time with, rather than someone that told me no. Jealousy and envy are disgusting traits that eat the soul, if you were confident about who you were you wouldn't care that a man told you no. I find it humorous that I took the time to write about you. The next time you want to fix something, start with YOUR brain, not my blog.

If my blog truly caused you slivers and snakes...

You wouldn’t come here to read about me and make that mistake.  After you read a couple of these, you know what to expect from me. You start to understand my mind, and relate to my heart, but If you don’t get it, then it’s not my job to help you understand. Find a blog that talks about gardening and knitting and requires little understanding. I don’t write to relate to the senseless, I write to connect with humans. I can breathe silk, or I can spit fire, so I suggest you NOT challenge the reasons I CHOOSE to write.

If you can truly tell me...

After reading my words that you’ve wasted your time, then ya, I’m not for you, and your ears are not the right audience for me.  Your comment was PURE deceptive manipulation in its finest form…and just think, if you put that energy back into your OWN life, you might actually find a gentleman that’s willing to take you out….get whole with yourself. That’s when others will be attracted to you.

Here’s a cheers, to "Anonymous."

May the blessings of growth and understanding enter you, and guide you to a life of happiness, where the decisions YOU make, are more important than the decisions you want others around you to make.

God Bless, and Take Care.

Adam

10 Minute Free Write.

*I put ten minutes on my iPhone timer, and forced myself to type without stopping.  No direction or idea predetermined. At the end of 10 minutes, I stopped. Completely. Kinda weird, and as I reread it, it even leaves ME wanting more… keeps me curious I guess…my brain  is an adventure….here ya go.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You never fear a fight, when you know what you stand for.

Scribbled letters and wobbly double YOU's, that miss the single ME's.

My journal was my release. A place I traveled to witness the universe and feel small again. And through that hole in a wall we call perspective, I was able to experience love in a kingdom that I was never meant to see at all.

Memories stinging me like a million bumblebees swarming me. Pesticide sprayed on the outside does nothing for a burning heart inside. A slow death… tears that represent memories running from me. I'm a mess at times. I know what I'm thinking, but what I say is not always what I'm trying to convey.

Different races standing next to me talking about different places they dream to be. I look them in the eye when they talk, I don't look away. I love from my heart, that's powered by my mind. I choose who I am, I don't let society shape me. I live by the boundaries I set, not by the rules society puts in front of me.

They say when you know, you know. The feelings came fast, but the rest of it didn't. When it's not completely mutual, it's not legit. And that’s when your head pleads with your heart to let go. There was once this girl that I loved with a whole heart. But she only loved the men that told her no. And although my heart said yes, we both let go.
I'm not a prince. And I don't ride a horse. But I knew how strong my love was for her. I wanted to hold my hand open to her forever, but she liked to come and go.

Surrounded, by toads, with tags, that say kiss me please, and the women around me pick them and say don’t hurt me please. And I watch, from a distance where I take notes. Knowing the game is dead in me.  See, I'm explaining, I'm not complaining, love is not always the warmest of feelings. It can blossom and it can wilt, and it can catch fire and rot or burn like a wildfire on a hill.

And you save this page, and you cry at night and you smile each time that you walk away. Your mind is strong, but your heart is torn, so you pick up the phone and call one more time. And he lets it ring, and he lets it sting, and the only thing you feel is like a fool inside, so you send a text, and then the next and next, and he reads each one and deletes the mess. Cuz his heart is torn too, and only he can repair it, he stuck around too long, always believing in you, and then one day, that love was gone, and two people finally woke up, from what was wrong.

And now each day, they drift further apart, a piece of the past, lost in the wind. And he thinks of her, on sunny days, remembers the joy, she brought his way. And on rainy days, she thinks of him, realizes her life is easier since she got away, and that's love my friends, two torn hearts buried in hope, hearts intertwined in poison and wine, and what's left are memories of rain and sunshine, two divided people, with opposite minds. And this is a love story my friends, they don't always end perfect, but they do end at the right time, you can challenge the facts, but you learn to accept them in time.

We all move on, but I catch myself looking behind, living in a moment, with a memory, of made up serenity, denying the truth of actual complexity, and so I taste my coffee, and I remember a time, when I was always waking up with you on my mind. And now those days are lost, and the truth accepted, but I still catch myself going back to those perfect memories. This writing isn't written with proper grammar, it's just a 5 minute run-on until the feelings all gone.

And so I stand, to anxious to sit, to driven to quit, a smile on my face, and a dime in my hand.

ALL experiences = Great Lessons

 

Cheers, Adam

Ice Ice Baby...

So, Saturday was fun.  Went out to have a couple drinks with my buddies and Mikey slipped on ice downtown and split the back of his head open! The fire truck, and ambulance showed up.  We took him to the E.R. and were there till 7am.  He got staples in the back of his head, and then we left to party again. haha 

 

Josh and I fell asleep in his room while we were waiting for him. Sleeping in a hospital is so much fun.

 

 

Getting cleaned up by the physician before the staples.  Mikey is a champ! he was smiling until he got the staples, then....he was crying.

 

Due to head trauma, we were given a wheel chair to take mikey home. We felt it was only proper to add a wheel chair pic to our life adventures.

 

Remember, my friends, be sure footed in life! slow down, take your time, and never forget to live in the moment!

 

Cheers, Adam