Friday, September 11, 2015

Behind Enemy Lines

** I wrote this in honor of Suicide Prevention Week. Suicide and Mental Health Illnesses are real. They have probably affected every single one of us on some level. I wrote this for those who fight to win, and those who have lost the fight. You can’t tell another human being how strong or weak they are, until you know the battles they endure behind closed doors.

I never set out to be a writer, but when I write, I set a goal to connect with the reader.

And so it begins…

A dim lit light, problems on my mind, and a cell phone that's tucked away for the night.  I’m old school, in that I still put words to the page with pen and a pad, and a light mixed whiskey in my hand.

I’m a fighter. Discouraged by no trial. My mind was once my enemy, but we’ve been friends for a while. There is no such thing as security, until you can face the mirror and smile.

Memories swirling, of people I haven’t seen in a while. Taken from us without our consent.

I am strong. I am a fighter. A lover. And a supporter with a smile.

But sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel doesn't feel so bright. So we fight, and we fear, and we smile, and we hide, and we lay awake at night wishing it would all go away, but it stays, and it stings, and it rings in our mind, and our hands shake, and our hearts hurt, and it burns, and our mask wears thin, and we wonder if it's our turn, to close our eyes, and get away, and stop the pain, from lasting another day. And sometimes the best medicine is a hug, or a smile, or a talk that last for a while, a text or a call, and a voice that cares.

And we lay awake at night, and we beg, for an infinity of simplicity, a mulligan from this complacency, but we're stuck in a bubble, of rubble, that wraps around us like wire, and chains that choke and restrict us, in cages like cattle, and packed into trucks, and driven crazy, while the wrath of our mind gets even for a while.

Can you see the intricacy and the intimacy of the problem that lives in me, if I didn't tell you I was broken, would you have known it if you didn't hear the words that I've spoken, and this is why the problem is invisible to the naked eye. The problem is invisible. To the naked eye.

I sit without complaining. Smiling at all those around me. The park is my friend. Peaceful, when I ride my bike to this bench, and sit with the wind to my face, hoping it will blow this problem from me, seeking the sun to shine in me. Children with kites, parents with pride, but when I can’t find myself, I ride and I hide.  

And I ride, and I ride, and I ask why I have to turn around and come back to this life.  Subtle are these moments to the witness, but they burn like a chemical fire inside.  These park benches never hurt me, and they offer the cover of solitude, while I catch a glimpse of the real world, as the normal people pass by me, I smile back, to impersonate normalcy in me.

But sometimes my heart feels like stripped corn on the cob, stacked out of line, my mind, rushing like a river, into a canyon where the sun can’t shine. I don’t write to feel high, or low, I write to release the pressure in my brain, cuz we aren’t all wired the same. Smiles are often lies, but the outside world, has no idea what’s going on inside. It should be simple, but we don’t all comprehend the same, genetics that twist and turn some of us into the enemies or our own state of mind.

Some problems in this country haven’t been addressed, and its left part of our population in a mess. Some problems are disguised and aren’t always in plain sight. Friends and family that can’t see what feels so obvious to me. Days that have no sunrise or sunset to me, they are plain, and the people in them are incompatible to me.

Have you ever seen a smile that was a lie, have you ever wondered, about the war behind the eyes. Have you ever looked past the happy actor in your peers, have you ever wondered, about the battle and the tears, and the scars, compiled through the years. How easy has it been for you, because not all of us are wired the right way, the same way, the defects look like all the others products, on the product line, but inside, they break and cry. I don’t write for reaction, I don’t write for help. I write because sometimes the spillway on the dam breaks, and all the fish come out.

Picture frames, that return blank stares in me, memories so elite, I can’t access the guarded gate. The security of life, attacking the insecurities in me. This isn’t ramble, this is raw, and its time our world turns an eye, to the people broken inside. I didn’t ask to be different, but I don’t want normal, the rollercoaster leaves me breathless at times. My mind washes in, washes out, heavy moments, dull at times, but the elevation of this tide is half the ride.

We pass by people every single day that smile, but are at war inside. They don’t wear signs on their back, they wear masks on their face that cover their hearts and eyes. Guards on their heart, and when you reach, they rarely take a hand, because defeating what holds me back is everything to me. Where are the people like me, why can’t they be next to me, why can’t I hold hands with the people that understand what it’s like to feel like me, why are they leaving me one at a time, why are they not getting the help they need, why are they in chains, why do they bleed, and why do they have to take their lives, just to be freed.

If it’s not your problem, it’s not on your mind. If your tree drops leaves in the neighbor’s backyard, it’s out of sight, out of mind, but these slivers and splinters crack our hearts and minds, and they grow inside. Turbulence that shakes me at night, when all I want is to sleep. The biggest epidemic of our time is understanding the difference in your mind and mine. I reach for someone that isn’t there, and I scream with a voice that is mute to everyone around me. And so I breathe, and I breathe, and I know I am the strongest person I know, and I’m tired now, but I can’t close my eyes.

Everyone that lives like me, is the strongest person I know, but some of them… Just. Don’t. Know.  They are the silent warriors that just need a break. Tornadoes that touch down daily, when they lay down at night and pray for sleep.  My kind, my warriors, we live in a theme park, with rollercoasters and rapid heartbeats, it’s just that we never get out. I don’t want attention to me. But if I don’t scream these words to the world, the people I love, that live like me, won’t get the help they need. I don’t write for help, I write to bring attention to issues that are important to me.

Beautiful voices, that get pushed away, hearts that would give forever, if someone real could help, in a real way. Beautiful flowers, that deserve better, than to wither away, someone, somewhere, reading this has tears and pain that won’t go away, they understand every word, I’ve put on this page. I love you, and so do the people around you. They just DON’T understand, that the machine you operate, just isn’t the same.

But I see your beauty, I know your truth, I admire your strength, everyday... you wake up, and start all over again, climbing up the hill, that’s in your way, and you know that hill, will never go away, yet you fight, and you climb, but some of my people are giving up. These are not cowards. These are warriors that I admire, not for the action they're taking, but for the pain they've been enduring,  and they’re choosing to close the last page of the book to get away. Most people cannot even begin to understand the strength they have, to endure the pain, that has followed them this far.

You see the sun, and the blue skies, I see dragons with fire balls swooping down on me. An obstacle course just to get through the day, comprehension of a full day is just a little harder for me. It’s not that I don’t try, it just feels like an immense amount of pressure weighing down on me. Each year that passes, my own mind becomes a little more clouded to me. I knew a long time ago my brain was wired a little differently. It was my senior year in high school, when I started to notice it wasn’t working the right way for me.

Simple things started to get harder for me. With each day getting tougher, it took so much more out of me to get through each one okay. Coordinating simple things became like a maize to me. I was having trouble remembering things that should be common sense to me. Names, birthdays, and memories I made with people close to me. My friends would tell a story and ask me how could you not remember that, and it embarrassed me. I would watch a movie with my friends, and two days later, the plot and events were unclear to me. I had post-it notes around my house with my address and phone number because I could not remember them on command. When I had company over, I had to tear them all down, and when they left, start over again.

Reinforcing simple concepts made anxiety grow in me, I didn’t know why this was happening to me. I didn’t want a pill from a doctor handed to me, so I tried my best to adjust to living with me. Blank stares, from a mind that wanders, as concentration escapes me. I used to think a smile was a sign of trust, but now a smile is a sign of question for me. We program our face to smile for the masses, while our insides attack us. Routine becomes everything to us, and when we break that routine, we feel pockets of panic creeping up to see, if we can make it through without exposing our handicap for others to see. I try to do the same thing every day, because that makes my life easier to manage for me.

Sometimes it feels like there is years on these days. I feel fortunate to read this letter to you, because all too often these letters are read by loved ones after it’s too late. This isn’t roulette, this is real. This isn’t me being dramatic, it’s me screaming out on behalf of people not as strong as me. This is an epidemic, and it will grow. We need doctors and scientist to commit to this in a way we haven’t yet seen.

You can ask anyone that knows me, everywhere I go, I make everyone hug me. I have a heart that’s bigger than the hunger in me. Emotions that hold me hostage when I desire to have people close to me. I run, so that no one has to deal with me. I’ve had the most amazing girlfriends any man could ever ask for, yet here I am alone, and somehow, I knew it would be that way, because it had to be.

Sometimes I close my eyes, and I dream of the life my parents prepared me for. Hunger for success, love for all, are just a couple of the seeds that were planted in me. I see feathers falling from the sky, as a rate so slow, the power of eternity is on my side. I wonder where the years went, and why my mind won’t work in unison with me. The slightest mist of rain in the sky, with rainbows that promise a new start on every single day, green grass fields, and cherry orchards where I hold hands with the woman that finally understands me. Our minds are powerful, we are smart, we just can’t coordinate everything the same. We are not weak, we are strong, our minds run at the speed of processors so fast, that the technology has not even come along yet.

This is not me complaining, every breath I take on every day is so precious to me. This is simply me trying to draw a line of understanding from the regular population to the people that have difficulties like me. We come in peace, open hands, open minds, closed hearts to protect the problems in me. We are a generation of silence, because we spend so much time coping with our minds, fighting our fears, and trying to overcome this pain. If you know someone that struggles mentally, open your heart, open your hands, open your mind, and open your eyes.  

Mental health is real. It’s a problem, and an issue that hasn’t been addressed. We aren’t less than you, we aren’t defective, and we aren’t dangerous. If you knew how many people around you dealt with this, it would shock you. We live with the courage of a thousand soldiers, and the gentleness of a thousand lovers. There are many misconceptions about mental illness, and the population needs to be educated. There are far more dangerous normal people, than people with mental ailments. Don’t be ignorant to the 99% of amazing people with mental health issues, because of the 1% of dangerous mental health citizens.

So where do we start? Where do we go from here? What can I do to help? What can you do to help?

Reach out to the people around you. Whether you know them or not. Be kind. Talk, not just with your mouth, but with your heart. Listen, not just with your ears, but with your mind. Engage the people around you. Say hi to a stranger, look them in the eyes. Trust the people around you, but more importantly, be someone the people around you can trust.

At least once, every day, I think about where we are, as a race. A human race. No distinction between color or creed. I wonder why the animal in us judges the strength in those among us. Kindness, is infectious, and it needs to spread. Designer purses, shoes, pants, and popularity make me sick to my stomach. Fast cars, planes, and houses that we want to define who we are. If everything was taken from us, our homes, our money, our clothes, and our cars, if we were put together on an island as humans, what would connect us…

If we were stripped of our societal rank, and we suddenly all looked the same, would we remember we were cut from the same cloth, or would we still find a way, to judge based on appearance and scars. We get so caught up on who we want to be, that we forget who we are. One smile on one day, one hello on a rainy day, could change a mind and save a life, but we’re so busy chasing a road map to selfish happiness, that we truly forget who we are. There are wars fought in minds every single day from people that you would never suspect, whom are trying to figure out who they are.

If you want to live a wealthy and rich life, be kind. Kindness and love are the most valuable currency on this planet. Man came from nothing. A heart, a mind, and a body. No cars, no planes, no currency. No jeans, no purses, and more courtesy. You can’t advance the human race, unless you advance the human mind. I speak not of technology, but of love and being kind. I speak of desire, to turn my head to the left, and to the right, and ask questions to the people next to me. I ask that we stop looking straight ahead, and start looking around, for the people holding hands out.

Stop loving things, and start loving people. Don’t bully, belittle, or attack others. Support people for their strengths, and love them for their flaws. Guide those who seek light, and comfort those who feel darkness. Smile, at everyone you meet and everyone you pass. Be both a teacher, and a student, every day of life. Pass knowledge, kindness, and love, to all that surrounds you. Give abundantly of your heart, your mind, and your time.  Lift people up, don’t break them. Love them, don’t hate them. Don’t always take things for face value, dig a little deeper. Ask questions, offer solutions. Give hugs, and support. Speak often, listen more. Touch hands, hold hands, touch lives. Breathe with clarity, speak with conviction.

Get a pet, give a pet, learn unconditional love, through an animal. If you can’t donate money. Donate time. Even if it’s to one person. Laugh, and never lose your humor. Respect time spent, for it will never be given back, Watch the sun rise, then take someone to watch the sun set. Hold doors open for everyone, even if it puts you two spots back in line. Drink water, respect water, and at least once, stand in the rain. Never forget someone who helped you, and always make time to help others. Build goals, build character, break barriers, not hearts. Slow down, look around, and take a road trip by yourself. Meditate often, mediate problems, and never turn your back on someone who needs to talk.

And above all… love. Love out loud. Every chance you get.


Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Memorial Day Weekend

Spent my Memorial Day Weekend backpacking through the Sawtooth Mountains all by myself! So much to learn when you learn to love and enjoy your own company! I can't say I was in complete solitude, on the third night I met up with my friend Carly at Redfish Lake Lodge and had an awesome night with great company! One of the best weekends of my year for sure! Cant wait to get back up there and do some backpacking trips with her!

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 2015

We were at it again. The 2015 Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure!

Let me give you a little insight into my NERDY lifestyle!

Love my friends, Love my life!

Happiness IS Success!

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Blank Space

Cuz She's MY girl.... Taylor Swift, that is.
Blastin that Shiz on Repeat.
Cuz its gonna be forever, or its gonna go down in flames, you can tell me when its over, if the high was worth the pain.


Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Vegas. Bay. Bee.

We decided we should finally get out of the pool, and hit the strip. Here is a 30 second video, that shows what kind of people I hang out with. I may, or may not be making a vegas slideshow/video. Some of the guys on the trip have requested COMPLETE anonymity, as if the trip never existed... So we may come out with a G rated video...  or we may keep the entire trip under wraps... we'll have to take a vote. You know the rules.... Moral of the Story?!?! DUH!!! :What Happens In Vegas, Stays In Vegas!!!!!

I rented a pool house right off the strip for the guys. Here is our backyard, with the Stratosphere directly behind us. Chillin with my boy Grizzly Bear Bryce. He drives a van, with no windows. Creepy right? 

Wednesday, July 30, 2014


This man writes the best lyrics I've ever read. I say that... because he does it consistently... and he writes from the heart. Writing, or reading something from the heart, is one of the truest things you can experience on this earth. Writing from the heart, is letting eyes peer deep into your soul, to see what makes you, what moves you, and what shakes you. I've always felt, words hold more power than weapons. And sometimes, unfortunately, words are even used as weapons. 

These lyrics that come next, come from Ryan Lewis. Also known... as Macklemore. Some truth, coming out of Seattle, Washington.

"He doesn't sleep, so in truth, he never wakes up. Another day rushing to his death, out of breath, on the treadmill of the famous.  He makes mistakes, tells stories to his paintbrush, and when the world finally sees his art, he wishes that he never would have shared it.

Just escape, just escape, ricochets and eclipses faith, living in a city with a grey umbrella over your shoulders and you're becoming suffocated by the weight. Cant hit those breaks. This is what you wanted, right? But you got it all in vein, cause you forgot who you are right as the world learned your name, it goes...

Let me ash my issues, ashtray is the asphalt, american spirits, black coffee, conversations, and my passport. When God gives you everything, everything, that you ever asked for, and it still looks a bit different, then when you pictured it, on that back porch.

And I'm gone, world traveler, all I got is my songs, when the nights start blending, into one another, and I don't recall, Tom Petty, in this mother f*cker, all I wanna do is free fall. Yeah, free fall, and i'm so caught up, i'm so caught up, and i'm so tired.

Stare into the light, and guess who tried it, shit i'm blinded, by this lime light, this lime light, its all night, its all day, these bright lights, these bright lights, once you turn 'em on, you cant walk away.

Don't die here, don't die here, i cam too far, i'm too great, but i'm too scared, and i'm too afraid, afraid to stare this world into its face, i'm almost home, i'm driving lost, my eyelids are closed. Lights turned to grey, the cameras off, the show is over, you close the curtains and just escape..."

-Ryan Lewis, Macklemore

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Curve Ball...

They say life will throw you curve balls… but life only throws curve balls to those that have a plan. Without a plan, there is no such thing as a curveball, but rather, it’s just…. Life. Emotional week for me, and a few tears.  So many changes, so fast.

Cancelling two trips, on the same day, because I have no other choice. I wait all year, to spend the 4th of July on the river, with my best friends, rafting and camping. And I was treating myself to a week on Vancouver, British Columbia in 3 weeks for my birthday treat to myself. Neither of these trips will be happening for me now.

I woke up last Wednesday morning, with a pain in my abdomen. I didn’t think much of it. I haven’t had a health issue my entire life. It didn’t go away the entire day, but it didn’t get worse either. Thursday, I woke up with a little more pain. I assumed it was a light case of food poisoning from something I had ate.. maybe 24 hour flu. Friday morning, I woke up to a lot of pain. Nausea, tenderness, and a tremble.

I realized I needed to call my doctor… something I try not to do at ALL costs. I’m not a fan of traditional medicine, particularly the ENTIRE pharmaceutical industry.  I was able to see him that day, Friday. After x-rays and a couple procedures, we detected a growth on my colon. Nothing is more humbling than being naked in front of your doctor, and his nurse Lol. After a 5 minute discussion about options, and a few signatures, I made a decision, and we scheduled surgery for 6 days later. That is… tomorrow. Lol, with additional appointments Monday, and Wednesday of next week.  

I was put on a heavy antibiotic, to strengthen my blood for the six days leading up. The recovery for that procedure alone, is 3 weeks. A piece of it will be removed, and sent out for testing/diagnosis. I am not worried about any of that, because it’s out of my hands. What I am emotional about is the timing.

I am a happy person. I am a positive person. I am looking at this as an opportunity to recognize a few things. 1) Your health is your life. Without it, no other plan will work. I try to live a healthy lifestyle, but from here on out, I will pay even closer attention to it. 2) This is an opportunity now, to lay low and continue to capitalize my business. Something that I am passionate about. I started working for myself, so that I COULD take off whenever I wanted… but I refuse to look at these vacations as a loss, and rather I will see the time as an opportunity to grow my business faster.

The human body, in its function, abilities, and entirety, is the most amazing thing on the planet. No technology will ever be capable of reaching the intricacy of the human body. We live our lives, every day, EXPECTING to wake up, EXPECTING to grow old, EXPECTING things will be smooth, rarely stopping to acknowledge the vessel in which we live and operate daily. Problems with our body are quite the humbling experience. 

You lose a job, you can get a new one. You lose a friend, you can make a new one. You lose a lover, you can dream of a better one. But when your mind recognizes your body, is the battery of our life, and it can’t be replaced… that can frighten the mind… It’s so important to live a full life, love without regret, and chase your dreams. 

We all know when our Switch was turned on. It was the day we were born. None of us know, when our switch will be turned off. That alone, should create a fire inside, to achieve, and climb, and smile, and help, and hope, and spread love with every breath we take, every step we make.

Certainly, there is a Moral To The Story…

Setbacks may not be setbacks at all… setbacks may be curve balls. And curve balls, just might be opportunities. Opportunities may change the outcome to something better than ever imagined. That’s my story… and I believe it.

When this passes… I’m going to Canada. And I’m going to smile a lot, when I get there. 

Monday, June 2, 2014

Girl... He Cray Cray!!!

NO! I'm NOT Crazy.
Do I Look Crazy?
Did Someone Say I'm Crazy?
Who Said I Was Crazy?!?!
I Swear I'm Not Crazy!
This Is Crazy! Who Said I'm Crazy?!
Tell Me!
I'm NOT Crazy!!! 

Girl...Stay Away!! That Boy Be Cray Cray...

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Gone With The Wind...

Couple things here, folks. lol :)

Nice ride tonight, other than the flat tire coming down Lucky Peak Dam Highway. I was like..... Damn.... get it? haha

Here was my Facebook Post, from the top of the dam. With these 2 lovely pics.


Frankly My Dear, I Don't Give A Lucky Peak Dam...  -At Lucky Peak Dam

Was a great evening for the ride. Minus the pit stop on the side of the road to fix my back tire. Moral to the story you ask? NOT THIS TIME!!!! ha! kidding. Course' there is... the moral is... 4 years ago... i bought a pump... and attached it to my bike frame. For 4 years... I haven't touched that pump. Tonight, on the side of the highway, as I sat pouting, fixing my tire, that there darn pump paid for itself 10 fold. Moral being... prepare for the worst, hope for the best when it comes to recreational sports. Matter fact, you can treat your life in general the same way. Never expect a cake walk... Never EXPECT plan "A" to execute perfectly... 

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Tuesday Trading

This is insane. Almost the EXACT same profit today, tuesday, as yesterday! $20 dollar difference! Worked in my pajamas, drank coffee.. and was done working for the day by 8:30am.

$2,120 Profit today. Not bad for 56 minutes of work. 

I just found out on my blog, if you click on these pics, it enlarges them. Good to know! lol  

I couldn't have timed this trade better. It wend down, for the rest of the day. If you look at my Red Sell icon, I literally sold at the top of the day. That RARELY ever happens for me. Its like a 1 in a million shot. Was a beautiful trade today! 

I quit my job in February to take a chance at something I love. I don't know if this will last, or I will get a job later this year, but i'm loving the challenge. Its something i'm passionate about. Working from home is not fun, I miss the social interaction, but i'm rarely ever trading past 10am. So it might be a time in my life where I can go do something part time, that I literally love. 

Day Trading from home is awesome, because it allows me to be mobile. I could move anywhere in the world, and still do this, as long as I have a computer, and an internet connection. That is exciting, and leaves a lot to the imagination! 

I used to work 2 full months, at a full time job, to make what I just made, yesterday and today. Mind Boggling actually... 

Moral to the Story, you ask? OF COURSE there is!! Do what you love... and listen to your OWN heart... THAT is today's lesson!

Monday, May 19, 2014

Making New Friends

This little baby SKUNK decided he needed to step up onto my shoe, and smell me, before I was allowed to pass his trail! There actually ended up being 5 babies! never did see Mama though.

Moral to the story you ask?? Well of course there is...  Sometimes you have to take chances. You have put stereotypes aside, and you have to dive in, and see what happens... Happy Endings DO exist. The skunk didn't spray me.. and I learned Fear Is Nothing More, Than A Lack Of Knowledge. We fear what we do not know, and what we do not understand. Once educated, or experienced... fear often subsides.

Day Trading

THIS... Is WHY I LOVE Day Trading in the Stock Market. This was my day... Slow from 7:30 to 10:00 because I wanted to analyze this stock's daily movement for awhile... Had I Pulled the Trigger and bought it at the market open, I would have had a $4,000 dollar day. But... I'm not complaining about $2,100 in 40 minutes. Done working for the day by 11am. Off to do something FUN! 

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Is It Love? Or Is It Leave?

How Do We Know If We Love Someone?

There are lots of false flag feelings out there. Desires we want to live, but we pick the wrong people, just so we can attempt to build our castle.

A friend sent me this link today, regarding love and relationships. Was a great read. She came across it, enjoyed it, and decided to pass it to me, so I am doing the same. 

This is a direct quote from the article, it is the last paragraph: 

So, how do you know if it’s love? That is not the question to ask. The question is: Do you choose to love this person or not? Right now. Not tomorrow. Today. Make a choice. Yes or no. If the answer is yes, love as hard as you can. Love with everything you’ve got (your capacity right now at this point in your life). If the answer is no, promise me one thing.

Let the fall make you stronger.

Please click the link below and read this article.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014


Well... It Happened. My friends talked me into joining a Dating Website. My heart is whole. My mind is whole. My life is whole. Time to experience something new. I'm SOOOOO excited, to be able to share all of my future experiences with all of you.

Like this one... I sent her a message at 4:56 this evening, and then a second one at 5:09, 13 minutes later.

NO, I don't know her. NO I didn't run into Vicki at the supermarket today, and NO, there was not even a Ricky on the list this morning at Yoga. NO my mailbox was not smashed, and NO, I would not attempt to collect sales tax from you, if you destroyed my mailbox.

This is just my attempt at satisfying my friends... so that I can CLAIM, that I AM engaging people on the site. If they choose to ignore me, and BLOCK me... well, i'm sure i'm better off. 

It takes a special kind of WEIRDO, to mix with my WEIRDO. But when that WEIRDO notices me... it will be WEIRDO MAGNETICS creating a WEIRDO force so strong, that WEIRDO will be the new black. 

Oh, and for the record... my profile headline is "Nerdy Girls Only"

It helps, that my profile pic makes me look like a complete Creep. I was blessed with creepy looks. Helps keep the CHICKS away.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Susan G. Komen

I Don't Always Wear Pink.... But When I Do....

It's with Mikey...

And Our Favorite Fitness Model, Jamie Eason! :)

Here is a Video of our Day! Such a Fun Event!!!!! 

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Idaho Summer's

If you made it into my highlight video.... it's because you're BADASS and I LOVE YOU! If you didn't make it into this video.... wanna hang out this summer?!?!?!

MOST of this is Summer 2013... i'm just late on putting it together. There is, however, some other trips mixed in with it. Was fun to make... and ultimately it proves.... 


Saturday, April 26, 2014

Fearless Spirit, a Humble Heart, and an Open Mind.

Often times, I hear people saying, mostly younger people saying, that who they hang out with, and who they surround themselves with does NOT affect who they are and how they live their life. This is naive, ridiculous, and complete rubbish. The people you surround yourself with will DIRECTLY affect the way you live, act, talk, think, and treat others. When you take from good people, without contributing, they will catch on, and distance themselves from you. Give back, everything you get, and then 10% more. Love the people around you, support them, and guide them, within parameters. 

Wisdom comes with age, but it can start early, and take effect as soon as you choose it to. The friendships and partnerships we build throughout life are the single most important thing we can do on earth. Within that, is loving, caring, and keeping compassion, for those you know, and those you don't know. Smile, live, share, embrace, remember, and document the life you love. Leave a path for others to follow that may be in doubt of their own potential. 

I've been blessed, with the best friends on the planet.  These friendships do not come for free, or easy. Constant contribution, and reflection, keep them healthy and happy. Contribute to the lives of the people around you. Make it on to their highlight reel, and put them on yours. This journey is fast, and it must be lived with a fearless spirit, a humble heart, and an open mind

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Throw Back Thursday

Here's a Throw Back Thursday for y'all!!! Great Song! With a stroke of good luck, and a little help, I came across this song again. :) 

#TBT March 24, 2010. A great year. Life is a learning experience. Take the lessons from behind you, and apply them in front of you! 

A King would trade his finest crown....for a love, love like this.  And Warriors have laid weapons down....for a love, love like this. :)

#TBT February 12, 2010

Be a Lover. Life goes by fast. Enjoy the moments, Forgive Always, and Learn from Everyone. You wont always do it right, but never give up trying.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Harlem Shake....

I made this video, to show you what me and my WEIRDO friends do in the wilderness.... When people are acting "normal" I feel out of place... So let me show you MY normal. Sit back and enjoy until the end... :) 

maximize the YouTube screen and enjoy our AWESOMENESS!

MIkey's Birthday!!!

Happy Birthday to one of the most badass guys on the planet. You've been a great friend over the years, pushed me to be a better person mentally and physically. Inspired me to take more chances, and to follow my dreams. I'm lucky to have you in my life 99% of the time...that other 1%, you're a real pain in the ass!! lol. Love You Brother!!!! 

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Hells Canyon

What an AMAZING trip. I took two friends with me, and I made about 15 new ones. ALL amazing people that I cant wait to see again! More pics and video to come, as soon as my life gives me a free minute to collaborate! 

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Birthday Vacation Just For ME!!!

Well, it's a go for my birthday vacation to Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. My host family will be out of town the entire week that I am there, so I will have their WHOLE condo to myself. It is a young European married couple, and they are predominantly French speaking, so I appreciate her effort to respond to me in English, even thought her message made me giggle a little. Here it is... lol

Hahahahaha! I think she meant to say "sweet message" instead of a sweat massage! I don't think i'll be giving anyone a sweat massage while I'm in Vancouver...but who knows. lol

My condo will be directly behind this beach, literally...the first set of buildings. This is English Bay Beach in Vancouver. This is in West Vancouver. It is also a 5 minute bike ride from world famous Stanley Park, which is a Cycle, and Mtn. Bike haven! 

I planned my trip a week after my birthday, so I could also check out the Honda International Firework Festival/Competition. One of the largest firework displays in the world is set off, from barges, a couple hundred yards off this beach, in the bay. I cant decide if i'm going to lay on the beach, outside my condo, and watch the fireworks, or try to wiggle my way on to someone's boat in the bay... if I can make a few new friends in the right place! lol 

I was going to fly, but now I am going to drive, so I can take my cycle bike, mountain bike, and paddle board. This is one of the hundreds of trails in Stanley Park.

I'm taking a sea plane from Vancouver to Victoria, the capital, for a day long excursion, followed by a ferry ride back to Vancouver. :)

Here is a 2 minute video, of the plane ride to Victoria, experience. :)

And last, but certainly not least, i'm checking off a couple of my goals, going to Grouse Mountain Skyride, and the Capilano Suspension Bridge Park. 

I suppose some people might find this to be a very boring vacation, but its right up my alley! I'm very excited. 

If any of these things seem interesting to you, or you want to know more about them, here is a list of links that will direct you to the websites of these places. Kind of fun to check out, and full of AMAZING pictures!!  Capilano Suspension Bridge Park  Grouse Mountain. Click on "Activities Guide"  Stanley Park, Vancouver. World Famous Firework Show, on 3 different nights, July 26, July 30, and August 2.

And FINALLY... I highly recommend that all of you go to and start your own bucket list. It keeps track of them for you, you can add to them anytime you want, you can mark them "complete" add photos of you completing them, along with date and time. Very awesome site! You can also "follow" people, and see as they accomplish their bucket list goals. :) Here is my direct bucket list page. :)

As always, CHEERS! and Much Love!!

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Tiny House Dream, Complete!

My AMAZING friend Kristie traveled to Hawaii and lived while she built this tiny house. She comes home to Idaho tomorrow. So amazing, and so talented!!! What a cool project! Who doesn't love this new wave of Tiny House's!!! You will actually be able to rent it out for a stay! 

You can also check out her blog website, as she documents and explains everything she does on these projects! Such an incredible lady!

Monday, March 17, 2014


Sometimes, all you need, to get over someone, is to simply get to know them....

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Hells Canyon Raft Trip Coming Up!!!

My buddy, Bear, made this video from his trip down Hells Canyon last summer. I am pretty excited, and a little nervous also, to be doing this trip in one month! I've been on white water, but nothing this big. I cant wait to meet new people on this trip, make new friends, and build some incredible memories with them! Nothing better than white water, campfire, sleeping on the beach, and great folks! BRING IT ON! 

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Boise Greenbelt

Was a beautiful day Monday. Had to get out and enjoy my first ride of the year! Hopefully it opens the flood gates for many more! I'm ready! Been missing the bike all winter.

This is my favorite section of the Boise Greenbelt. I don't know why it sounds like I am in a New York City Subway, this is real time, not sped up. Its just super noisy... could be the rocket pack on my back.... not sure. :)


Saturday, February 15, 2014

Goo Goo Dolls

Beyond excited and surprised to see this show live tonight in  person, in Boise. I've always been able to express my feelings on paper, but, there have been times in my life, I've been numb and silent. This band has always been able to speak for me in those times. Such a sentimental group to me, and a group I have loved since High School!!

Too Many good songs to list, but here are two of my favorites from them.

This one is called "Iris" Definitely my favorite.
Favorite line from song: "And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming, or the moment of truth in your lies, when everything feels like the movies, yeah you'd bleed just to know you're alive..."

This one is called, "Before It's Too Late" Definitely my second favorite! :)
Favorite line from song: "And the risk that might break you's the one that would save a life you don't live is still lost. So stand on the edge with me. Hold back your fear and see, Nothing is real 'til it's gone..."


A few others I really like are, Come To Me, Let Love In, Better Days, and Name.

Friday, February 14, 2014

Baby Diviya

So happy, and so proud. Congrats to my good friends Derek and Vera on baby Diviya! She is beautiful, and healthy! Love is a gift given from God, that makes our life on earth complete. What a beautiful little bundle of joy! :)

I told her she was busted! and she put her hands up! Too cute. :)

Happy Valentines Day to all, and much love, excited for my night! :)

Sunday, February 2, 2014

McCall, Idaho

I may have been a vacationer this weekend, but my next home purchase will definitely be in McCall. And then I'll be a vacation home, vacationer. :) McCall is, has been, and always will be such a special place to me. So many good memories of spending time up there with my family as a child. Was great to spend the weekend up there, last weekend, during the Ice Festival, and make some very new, very special memories with some very special people!

Thursday, January 23, 2014


Well, its time to get some of these trips out of the way, and checked off the bucket list. So it's GO TIME! Here is the schedule that is booked so far, and I'd love to add a September, or October trip in there too if I can!

It starts Tomorrow! with my favorite place on Earth. McCall, Idaho for the Winter Festival, and an amazing cabin with some super amazing people!

McCall, Idaho. Winter Festival. Jan 24-28th

After McCall, is Hells Canyon Rafting Trip. I'm both nervous, and a little scared for this trip, and THAT is the feeling I love!  April 17-21

After Rafting, I am treating myself to a week in Vancouver, British Columbia, by myself, for my BIRTHDAY!!! July 18-25. With the first night, and the last night, in Seattle. I'm driving up, on purpose, so that I can take my Cycle Bike, Mountain Bike, and Stand Up Paddle Board. :)
I'm staying right on the beach, on the upper west side, next to Staley Park. I'm particularly excited to wake up each morning and ride, visit the Capilano Suspension Bridge, Grouse Mountain, and the day long air excursion to Victoria in a sea plane, with a ferry ride back. :)

After Canada, is the Big BACHELOR party for Ben before he marries the woman of his dreams, Elise!  Las Vegas Baby. Booked a full house, 2 mins from the strip. Pool, Hottub, Pool Table, and patio around the pool that entertains 30 peeps!   August 21-24th

After Vegas, is AUSTRALIA!!! Prolly the MOST excited about this one. I've always wanted to see the fireworks in Sydney on New Years Eve. I've always wanted to take a surf lesson IN Australia, I am in love with Iceberg's Pool, and always wanted to swim in it, and visit the world famous Bondi Beach, and visit the iconic Sydney Opera House.. So...I'm doing it. :)
December 26th- January 4th



Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Bucket List Video

I made this video yesterday. I love it. Wanna know what I love even more? The possibilities in 2014. I'm amped, excited, and ready to dive in to a new year! Cheers my friends, I love you all! I hope you enjoy this video. :)

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Bucket List

So... I'm kinda addicted to this site. Started this up yesterday, and I've come to terms, that this should be MANDATORY for EVERYONE to start. I'm already begging my friends to start one, and follow me, so I can follow them, and we can hold each other accountable, but most importantly, make memories doing some of them with the most important people in our lives!! xoxo everyone!

Click this link and redirect.

Haha!! I just noticed #1 on my friend Suzy's list. Cute. we'll have to make that happen!! :)

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

A Table Rock Christmas

Great way to start my day. 7am hike up to Table Rock, to watch the sunrise with my buddy Mike. The greatest things in life, are not things at all. The greatest things in life, are our feelings towards ourselves, and our friendships with others. I'm spoiled with some of the most amazing people in my life that anyone could ever ask for. On this day, I am thankful for this opportunity on Earth. I am thankful for the people in my life, and the lessons I've learned, from the people out of my life. There are no accidents, on our path. There are intentional interactions. From these moments, we ask ourselves who we really are, and these moments shape who we become throughout our life. I am thankful for a Merciful God, that forgives, and understands. I am not perfect, nor do I ever wish to be, however each day I strive to be better than I was the day before. I'm a work in progress, which, is a lifetime learning process. Merry Christmas to all. Spread love, whether its well received or not...

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Moustache Power...

Shameless GoPro Selfie...while on private retreat in Tamarack, Idaho.
Life is beautiful, and good, and amazing. I've learned to harness the power of my moustache to do incredible things. My favorite thing about my moustache is watching cashiers in checkout lines avoid eye contact with me when talking to me, because they find my moustache to be unbearable awkward. Come to think of it, all strangers avoid eye contact with me when talking, because of the moustache. This just inspires me to keep the conversation alive for as long as possible. Awkward moments are something I live for. I woke up today, thinking maybe I should shave my moustache... but then I remembered, nobody wants normal. The weirdo in me wins. The weirdo in me also keeps me happy. :)
Cheers, to getting out of the city... living your life forward, and ridiculous moustaches. I cant wait for summer time. I'm gonna wear short shorts, and rock my moustache.